Ep044: 59 Rules for Becoming a Top 1% Real Estate Professional (Part Two)

Chris McAllister: Welcome to the Connect, Practice, Track, and Grow podcast. I’m Chris McAllister with ROOST Real Estate Company, and it’s my job to create and coach business opportunities and strategies that support and add value to the lives of real estate professionals.

I’m here today, as always, with my co-host Laci LeBlanc. Good morning, Laci. 

Laci LeBlanc: Good morning, Chris. 

Chris McAllister: So today, we’re continuing our six-episode series based on my book, 59 Rules for Becoming a Top 1% Real Estate Professional.

And this episode is grounded in part two of the book, and it’s called Connecting: Building Relationships and Business. And I wanted this section to come immediately after the episode we last did, called Your Why and Mindset, because once you’re clear on who you are and what you want your practice to stand for, the next question becomes: how do you actually show up in the world?

So this part of the book is about relationships, but not in a really fluffy way, but in a very practical, disciplined [00:01:00] way. It’s about who you connect with, how you treat people, what you’ll tolerate, what you’ll walk away from, and how you build a business that compounds day after day, month after month, year after year, instead of constantly restarting or just repeating the same year over and over again.

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah, Chris, I think that I’ll say this a lot, but this is arguably, in my opinion, the most important section of the book. Uh, and you start it with rule number 10. It’s a variation on the ABC that we’ve all heard. Everybody thinks ABC, and they think always be closing, but you say always be connecting. Why was that the first rule you started with in this chapter?

Chris McAllister: Because most agents misunderstand what drives business over the long term. You know, for years people said ABC meant always be closing, right? Uh, it’s a famous line from Glengarry Glen Ross. And the, uh, that mindset, always be closing, tends to create short [00:02:00] careers. My rule number 10 reframes ABC as always be connecting.

You know, real estate is not a transaction business. Yes, there are transactions, but in reality it’s a relationship business. Houses are the product, but trust is the currency. When you focus on closings, right, you’re only as good as your last deal. And when you focus on connections, you build a living ecosystem, past clients, vendors, peers, friends, and that ecosystem keeps producing opportunity regardless of what the, uh, market conditions are any given day ti- day, month, or year.

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah, and that leads right into the next rule, which is rule number 11, what’s in it for them? Why is this so foundational when it comes to this chapter? 

Chris McAllister: I really think most of us, myself included, you know, we talk about ourselves way too much, and a lot of time ag- agents, you know, they’re very proud of what they’ve done, but they spend a lot of time talking about their awards, their [00:03:00] production, their designations, right?

All those letters after their name on their business card, and none of that really answers the client’s real question, right? You know, w- which is, “What’s in it for me?” So rule number 11 forces you to flip the perspective. You know, clients don’t care what we want. They don’t care what you want.

They care about what they’re going to get and what they hope to get is less stress, more money, better outcomes and clarity, right? I- if not peace, then clarity. So when you constantly filter your conversations, your marketing, and your service through what’s in it for them, you stop selling and you start attracting, and I think that’s the real mind shift there is the more attractive we can be to our clients well, quite frankly, we’re gonna have to work a lot less.

Uh, we won’t have to chase them. 

Laci LeBlanc: And who, who doesn’t want that [00:04:00] really? So rule number 12 might surprise people a little bit. It’s be an interesting person. Uh, it doesn’t seem like it belongs in a business book. Tell us why it should be here. 

Chris McAllister: I, I think it’s important that all of us, you know, regardless of our profession, become interesting people.

And the fact is boring doesn’t build relationships, right? If all you do is real estate, and all you ever talk about is real estate, you know, that, that’s a pretty defined subject. And, and if, and if that’s all you got, people are gonna tune out really fast, right? People wanna know that you’re a human being, right?

And rule 12 is really all about being human. You know, interesting people have varied interests, right? Yes, they’re passionate about real estate. You might even say real estate is their calling, but there’s other things that go on in their lives, right? They’re curious. They have families, they have friends, they, they have hobbies.

They live [00:05:00] full lives. And somebody who’s living a full life or aspiring to live a full life, you know, conversations with them, spending time with them, it’s just, it’s easier. It’s, it’s more fun. It’s more enjoyable. A- and most of the time those conversations are, you know, far more memorable than, you know, conversation with somebody who, you know, is just really, really stuck on one thing.

And of course, for the folks listening to that podcast, our one thing tends to be real estate. But I just want people to, you know, again, to keep in mind, people don’t refer agents because of their market statistics. They refer the agents, or they refer people in general that they like and that they remember, and people remember interesting people.

So that’s why number 12 is be an interesting person. 

Laci LeBlanc: You know, we talk a lot about authenticity especially as we do this podcast because neither of us are, super thrilled some days about being in front of a camera or being [00:06:00] recorded. It’s just maybe not in our comfort zone, but we’re interesting people.

And the more authentic we can be- Oh, well, we’d like to think so, wouldn’t we? Right? Yeah, we ta- I mean, we talk about our interests. We talk about the things that happen in our lives you know, even on this real estate podcast. So this is big for me. I think be yourself would’ve been the easy way to put it, but be an interesting person is definitely a rule that I wanna follow in my career in a- in addition to my regular life.

So I think it’s a fantastic call-out that maybe some folks wouldn’t expect. You kinda go hard with this next one, rule number 13, which is don’t work with assholes. Uh, a little blunt- … but I feel like it’s maybe necessary. Why, why are you so emphatic about this one? 

Chris McAllister: You know, to a huge degree, I wanna get people’s attention, and you know, the fact is, I, I think we all, w- wanna have a practice, wanna have a business where, you know, we get to work with people that we wanna work with and wanna work with us.

And, life’s too short to work with assholes. You know, the cost of working [00:07:00] with the wrong client, it’s massive, right? And, and most agents underestimate it. It’s not just the in-the-moment texting, phone call, email, emergency, whatever i- it is. It’s, it’s the mental drain and, uh, sort of existential anguish that we feel when there’s somebody in our lives that just, you know, w- we always feel like it’s a battle, right?

It’s always a fight. Somebody’s always pushing against us. So rule number 13, don’t work with assholes, it exists to protect your sanity, your confidence, and your reputation. And I guarantee you, the top 1% of the of the producers in this business, they just don’t have time for people who aren’t aligned with their business model or, or just the type of person they wanna work with.

I mean, one toxic client it can just drain the energy out of you, right? You know, what w- the energy drain with one toxic [00:08:00] client, can draw off the gains that you feel, the happiness you feel, you know, with, with, uh, 10 good ones, right? One is just… It, it just feels like they multiply, and it tends to negatively impact every part of your or your life.

So the top 1% don’t work with just anyone. They work with people who respect them, trust them, and value their process and quite frankly they just don’t work with anybody else. 

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah, as we all feel the relief that comes with… Like, as you were talking, I could feel the relief with not working, of not working with the wrong clients, right?

We’ve all probably fired a client here or there just because we didn’t mesh well, and the relief that you feel when that client is off your plate, when all of the tasks are off your plate, is crazy. Uh, you didn’t even realize a lot of times, I think, that you were feeling it in the moment. So I think that it is really necessary to be intentional from the get-go, because once you start to work with somebody who doesn’t mesh [00:09:00] with you, y- it’s a slippery slope.

Chris McAllister: Well, I think we’ve all had clients that, you know, we wish we would have fired sooner, or we wish we would have gotten out of that relationship earlier. And it, you know, it happens, you know, on the sales side of the business, and it happens in the property management side of the business, you know? You know, we, you know, from time to time, we realize that we brought on a client for property management that just isn’t aligned with where we’re at.

And the, the drain on the team, is just great. And oftentimes, you know, and I’m guilty of this, you know, we’ll hold off, you know, making that change because, you know, they are writing a check every month, right? It, it, there’s, there’s their income to consider. But I can tell you, every time we’ve just decided we can’t go on like this, we’ll figure out a way, and we’ve, let that person go.

We’ve, we’ve moved them out of our lives. It’s amazing how many new opportunities suddenly show up and how much, uh, energy we have to, you know, em- embrace and engage with people who are better fits for us. [00:10:00] So anyway, I, I guess I beat this one to death, but this might be the biggest one of the day.

So 13, don’t work with assholes 

Laci LeBlanc: Even, you know, even when money is tight, even when you’re trying to find the right the right place and maybe you’ve just started working at it and, and you wanna take every sale or you wanna take every client, I think it’s important, and this flows seamlessly into rule number 14 about boundaries too.

Chris McAllister: Yeah. Rule number 14 is set boundaries. And this is where a lot of agents struggle because they con- they confuse their personal availability with value, right? And I, I just wanna stress that boundaries are not limitations. They’re guardrails that protect your time, your energy, and your focus.

And when you don’t set boundaries, you know, your business starts to run you. And when you do set boundaries, you create consistency, professionalism and respect. And we’ve talked many times over the, few years we’ve been doing [00:11:00] this podcast, Laci, about, the top 1% of real estate agents, they see their business as a, as both a practice and a profession, and they see themselves no differently than how a, a lawyer or a, or a doctor, you know, might see themselves, right?

You don’t have unfettered access, you know, to, to your attorney. You don’t have unfettered access to your doctor. Why should anybody have unfettered a- access to you as a real estate professional, right? It just doesn’t work that way. You’ve got personal time, you’ve got business time, you’ve got focus time, you’ve got free time, and you gotta draw those boundaries, and you have to respect it.

I think we’ve told this story many times. You know, one of the smartest things I did going on 25 years ago was I decided right up front I was never gonna work on Friday night, right? I was gonna stay home with the family, and I was never gonna work on Saturday afternoons because that was generally the time where my wife and I got to, you know, spend time together, go to a [00:12:00] movie or what have you.

And, you know, over the course of seven days, I wouldn’t necessarily say that was a lot of time carved out, but at least it was something. And I’ll tell you that any time I went outside of those boundaries and just said, “Oh, I’ll just do it this once. This person’s really great,” or, “It’s a fantastic opportunity,” I can tell you not once did anything come of it, right?

It just wasn’t worth it. Whether they weren’t really into it or I wasn’t really into it, you know, you, you it just wasn’t worth the loss of that time with the family or time with the wife or what have you. So rule number 14, set some boundaries. Stick to them. Your clients are gonna respect you for it 

Laci LeBlanc: It reminds me, you know, The Office is one of my, like, comfort shows, and we just re-watched the episode where Dwight Schrute and Jim go on a sales call, and he hands the guy his card and he says, “It’s got my work number, my pager number, my cell phone number, my [00:13:00] other pager number.

I don’t ever get sick and I don’t celebrate any major holidays.” And that’s, like, how he makes the sale. I know so 

Chris McAllister: many- So don’t be a Dwight Schrute … realtors like that. I, I’ve met those people.

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah, Dwight Schrute would do great in real estate if, uh, if that were- Yeah. … you know, the prescription for it, right?

But- He wouldn’t, he 

Chris McAllister: wouldn’t do great for very long. But he’d probably get off to a fast start. 

Laci LeBlanc: Oh, I think he’d specialize in beet, beet farms, reselling of beet farms maybe. But- That’s 

Chris McAllister: right. 

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah … yeah, that’s what it makes me think of is, like, and nobody wants, if you’ve watched The Office, nobody wants to be Dwight Schrute in probably most ways.

Um, so don’t be a sh- Dwight Schrute in this scenario. 

Chris McAllister: There you 

Laci LeBlanc: go. Uh, but rule number 15 takes this concept even further, and it’s about being ready to walk away 

Chris McAllister: Yeah, and it’s a hard lesson for all of us, but especially for newer agents who are just starting out and, and, you know, they’ve got rent payments, mortgage payments, kids to feed, et cetera.

So rule number 15 you know, being ready to walk away it exists because [00:14:00] desperation is dangerous, right? It’s … if you’re, if you’re so desperate that you’re willing to work with just anybody, uh, it’s almost like people can smell it on you, right? And so if you’re, if you’re never willing to walk away, you give away all of your leverage and often, personal standards that you’ve set for yourself, but maybe you haven’t been great at communicating, right?

But, walking away from an unproductive situation, you know, I don’t want anybody to think of that as failure. I want you to think of it as a strategy, and it goes back to not working with assholes. It goes back to setting boundaries. But it also feeds into the whole idea of, um, setting yourself up for success over the long term, and by long term, I’m thinking years and years and even decades.

And I can tell you that the top 1% think in terms of decades, not deals. You know, maybe having to walk away from a bad [00:15:00] situation, a bad client or whatever, you know, might set you back a month, six months. I mean, maybe it’s a big client that, i- is a lot of money over the course of, uh, you know, a couple of years or something.

But I can tell you, you’ve got to be prepared to, uh, to walk away from those situations if it’s just not healthy. You’ve got to be willing to think in terms of decades. You’ve got to say, “Am I gonna be better off or worse off over the next 25 years if I continue in this situation or relationship?” One bad transaction is never worth your reputation or your mental health, and I will tell you, one bad client is infinitely worse than one bad transaction.

So you’ve got to be willing to walk away from a bad situation, otherwise you’ll never be able to protect your personal reputation or your mental health or take care of your other clients, you know, for the long term if, if you don’t deal with it. 

Laci LeBlanc: [00:16:00] Yeah, there’s a risk/reward there, and I think it’s important to point out that a lot of times, if you set a boundary, if you walk away, if you choose, you know, not to work with someone, whether it’s from the start or not to work with someone anymore, if you choose to fire a client, uh, you know, a lot of times the oth- the person on the other side of the relationship feels the same relief that you feel when you make that decision, right?

Um, if y- if you don’t feel like you’re meshing, then they probably don’t feel like you’re meshing either. So I think that takes a lot of the heat off of me. It, it makes me feel better, I think just a little bit when I think about it that way. If it’s not working for me, it’s probably not working for them either.

So you’re doing both of you a favor. 

Chris McAllister: Yeah. And I will tell you, there’s also been times when, you muster up the courage to have a, a tough conversation with somebody, right? You know, in our family, we talk about, uh, swallowing the frog or shooting the puppy, right? You, you’ve got, you’ve got something you’ve gotta do that you don’t want to [00:17:00] do.

And there, there are times when, you decide that you’re gonna have a conversation with somebody, and you’re prepared to walk away. But there, there have been times, I think, you know, certainly in, in my career where, you know, sitting down and really laying out, you know, w- why this isn’t working for me and why consequently it’s not working for them a- and basically reestablishing boundaries and, and professional standards and, you know, the basis for a productive relationship.

Y- you know, sometimes it, it works and, you know, you don’t necessarily have to fire the, fire the client, and, things improve and they go better over time. I mean, maybe it will never be the best situation you ever had, but sometimes an adult conversation with somebody coming from a, a, you know, a place of authenticity, a place of integrity, it can have, pretty magical effects too.

But, uh, in any case, you’ve [00:18:00] gotta have boundaries. You, you’ve gotta be willing to walk away, and if you, if you don’t have that I think that’s where people really sense your desperation, and a lot of people will take advantage of it 

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah, I mean, I think even unintentionally, right? It’s just a, a thing that people do.

If, if they know that they can text you any time and you’ll text right back then that opens that door and, you know, there are just so many ways that something can go wrong. So, uh, speaking of boundaries though, earlier in our last session, you talked about staying off social media, which we thought was kind of a hot take, but rule number 16 in this chapter is actually about using social media and how to do it intentionally.

Um, so marry those kind of two rules for me. 

Chris McAllister: The, the whole major theme of this episode is about connecting, and social media over the past, what is it now, 10, 15 years, maybe 20, has become- A really primary [00:19:00] medium of communication, and it can be toxic. It can ruin your life. It can, you know, promote FOMO.

It can destroy JOMO, you know, all the things that we’ve talked about before. But nevertheless, it is a broadcast medium. It is a way of communicating, and it can be used intentionally in service of your business. So again, rule number eight, last episode, was about not letting social media poison your focus.

Rule 16 is about flipping the relationship. You know, the top agents don’t live online, but they use these online platforms. They use these social media platforms, and they, they post to these platforms with purpose, right? They have content that is unique to them. They, they share client successes.

They may not be sharing… The, the ones that misuse social media and don’t get anything from it and probably end up with a little, uh, being a little [00:20:00] poisoned by it are the ones that are constantly putting up, “I had this closing yesterday. I did 27 closings last month. You know, I just got this other designation on my business card.

You know, hey, look at me.” I can tell you that there is no upside to that. I, I, I’m sorry. There’s just not. I have never seen that actually work to promote anybody’s long-term business. But there is a place where, you know, if you’ve got something to celebrate, if you, you know, uh, which is more often than not a client, if you’ve got a piece of content that you know is going to be of use to somebody, you know, those are the type of things that you put on your business page.

But on your personal page, again, you know, y- there, there is value in becoming, again, an interesting person and posting about, you know, what’s important to your life and being conscious and intentional about putting a story out there that is, quite frankly, [00:21:00] attractive. I don’t mean inauthentic, but attractive.

Because if somebody, you know, refers you, you know, to to a friend or family member and suggests that they, you know, use you as their realtor, first thing they’re gonna do is Google you. They’re gonna they’re gonna creep on you on, uh, Facebook and Instagram and everything else, and they wanna find out, you know, who is this person that, potentially is going to be helping me?

So again, don’t get sucked into social media for all the horrible, bad things it can do to people. But I want you to learn to use social media with, with the intention of, communicating who you are. Social media could sup- should support relationships, both new relationships and existing relationships, but social media can never replace those relationships.

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah, I think social media magnifies whatever image, whatever, you know, type of person that you are, however you’ve decided to [00:22:00] step into this business. You know, social media can magnify that. Um, so, being intentional about what you put up there being careful about the amount of time that you spend on it.

As somebody who does a lot of social media for a living I know as well as anybody that it’s easy to go on and say, “Oh, I’m just gonna check on my ad,” or, “Oh, I’m gonna check my business messages.” And then fast-forward an hour later and you’ve scrolled through, you know, 168 reels completely unrelated to what you were trying to accomplish before.

So, I see the difference in rule number 8 and 16. I hope the others do as well. I hope the folks listening do as well. Um- 

Chris McAllister: Well, I, I think it’s, I think it is true that the top 1% of, of realtors tend to be Facebook famous, right? Not because they sought it, because it was thrust upon them because people really enjoy working with them and they wanna tell their friends.

You know, it’s not something that a- as a real professional you can ignore, right? I mean, real estate is kind of unique. We have a lot of celebrity [00:23:00] realtors. We have a lot of people who are just really, really good, kind of low-key, that, that also end up on social media for all the right reasons. So you have to be aware that you do have a pr- a presence and there is a persona on there whether you sought it or not.

So again, manage it, use it intentionally, use it to help promote, uh, connection, but just don’t get sucked in. 

Laci LeBlanc: Easier said than done, Chris, but- It is … we’re all as- aspiring. It’s an inspirational rule, uh, rule number 16. Do as I say- Rule number 17- … 

Chris McAllister: not as I do. 

Laci LeBlanc: Rule number 17 is one of my very favorites personally, uh, and it’s don’t compete.

And I think that that probably feels counterintuitive to a lot of folks in real estate, um, but it, it hits on my favorite topic. So talk to us about rule number 17, don’t compete. 

Chris McAllister: Well, you know, don’t compete is counterintuitive, but I think that’s why it’s important. Competition at its core [00:24:00] creates scarcity thinking, right?

When we think of competition, we can’t help but think of, of winners and losers, right? It’s just the nature of what competition is. So rule number 17, don’t compete. What I’m really trying to promote here is to help people adopt an abundance mindset, right? When you stop watching other agents and what they’re doing and who they’re working with, and start focusing on your people, your clients, the people that gravitate and are attracted to you, and you focus, you know, with a laser beam on serving them exactly the way they wanna be served to the best of your ability, at the end of the day, your stress will drop and your creativity will in- will increase, right?

You f- you focus on the opportunities that you’re uniquely able to generate. You focus on the clients that you’re uniquely able to [00:25:00] serve, and you don’t worry about where any other realtor, what w- any other realtor is doing or who they’re working with or why, right? You, there h- you have to look at this with an abundance mindset.

And at the end of the day, when you are set up with the mindset that you’re gonna create opportunity and you’re gonna exploit it wherever you’re able to create it and find it, you’re gonna realize ultimately that there really is more than enough business to go around for people who actively create real value, right?

I think the folks that truly have a scarcity mindset and, you know, zero-sum game and, and they’re competing and, trying to win, win, win, not lose, not lose, not lose, honestly, in my experience, those folks, when I meet them I don’t think they’ve really thought through how they create real value or unique value in the market or with each, [00:26:00] relationship they’re lucky enough to enter into.

So it’s a huge topic, I think, that is kind of wrapped up in this one little two-sentence ru- two, two words rule that says don’t compete. But there’s a lot to it, and it really is about seeking abundance wherever you can, but it’s also about creating value, and creating value that people will pay for and are excited to pay for.

There, there is a big 

Laci LeBlanc: difference. 

Chris McAllister: That’s right. Creating value people are excited to pay you for, that’s the game right there. 

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah. I just think having an abundance mindset in all areas of life opens you up to, you know, just acknowledging that there is enough to go around, that everybody, you know, can win, uh, in most cases.

It opens you up to so many other opportunities, one of which you talk about in rule number 18, which is collaboration 

Chris McAllister: You know, being by yourse- uh, competitive people, people who are constantly, in a scarcity mindset ’cause they’re constantly competing and so forth, they are so lonely, and they tend to [00:27:00] operate in isolation.

And isolation is very, very fragile, right? Rule number 18 recognizes that collaboration multiplies strength, right? And, and, and strength is not quite the exact opposite of fragile, but I, I think it’s, uh, it’s far enough on the spectrum that that you, you get my drift here, right? So top agents, the very best among us, they don’t hoard information or they…

And they don’t guard how they do business like, like they’re state secrets, right? They’re pretty darn open. You know, they, they share everything they can share. They collaborate with peers. They collaborate with vendors, other professionals. They’re really an open book because at the end of the day, that openness, which I think also equates to a mindset of abundance it tends to create better outcomes for their clients.

It, it just makes them, it makes them leaders in their [00:28:00] profession, and it makes their businesses stronger. And again, they don’t do it by, you know, waving a flag or, putting a bunch of stuff up on social media, “Look at me. Look at me.” They do it by being true professionals, by trying to consistently improve their business and themselves and, and figure out ways to add greater and greater value.

And instead of keeping it all a secret, they just tend to share it openly, and that tends to be what collaboration looks like. I mean, I can’t tell you how many things, have gone better in my business because, you know, somebody who’d been at it longer than me or you know, just does it different than me was open about how they did it, and it taught me something.

And I started to connect the dots to see how that might, work in my business. And that, that’s really what collaboration is about, and it truly is the antithesis of competition. 

Laci LeBlanc: When you collaborate to create better outcomes for clients, it improves [00:29:00] the entire, ver- raises the bar for the entire real estate professional industry.

Yeah, it does. Right? So, you know, my dad sells used cars, and used car salesman is not something, like, there, you know, there’s a, a stigma there, right? My family doesn’t really fit into that stigma. They’re very nice. They’re very straightforward. They don’t do a lot of the things that people think used car sales- salespeople do.

But, you know, when you collaborate, when you do better for the client, when you make it a better client experience, you’re really kind of the boat rises with the tide, right? So all boats rise with the tide. You’re doing everybody a favor. And I just see that as the main outcome of good collaboration between agents, between vendors, between a- anybody involved in a real estate transaction, really.

If you can just take it back to that first tenet that you mentioned about creating better outcomes for clients, then any form of collaboration is going to improve the experience and the outcome for everybody involved. That’s just my personal opinion- Right … about collaboration. And [00:30:00] you know if somebody’s open to collaboration, then they do have that abundance mindset, so it’s a really quick way to kind of figure out if you’re surrounding yourself with the right people.

Chris McAllister: It does. I mean, and I like to think that, you know, you and I have a collaborative relationship. I think there’s many, many times where, you know, you have an idea and that makes my idea better. I have an idea, it makes your idea better. But at, at the end of the day, we have the same goals. We wanna grow the business.

We wanna add value to the people who are listening to these podcasts. And I can I think we both know, I know I certainly do, that you know, the things that we’ve been able to accomplish the last few years w- would nev- neither one of us would’ve been able to do it on our own, right? And that’s collaboration.

And you can have a collaboration with, past clients who are referral sources, you know, uh, your loan officer, an attorney, a, a fellow professional. There’s a million opportunities to create collaboration and, and promote a collaborative environment if you just look for them or, or be aware of them and open to them.

Laci LeBlanc: Yeah, and [00:31:00] collaboration, I mean, this was not a planned transition, but collaboration, I think, really breeds gratitude, which is what rule number 19 is about. It feels really simple, but clearly it matters. 

Chris McAllister: I think gratitude matters a lot, right? So number 19 is, is gra- I, I guess it’s just titled gratitude because gratitude is what keeps relationships alive.

So rule 19 is turn appreciation into action, and what I mean by that is take the time to look for things that happen over the course of the, of the day, the last few days, weeks, whatever, and look for reasons to connect. Again, the whole reason for this episode, connection. And you may express, you know, appreciation and gratitude through handwritten notes, a text message, a, a call.

Maybe you’re back on social media and, and you leave a thoughtful note of appreciation on, on somebody’s post that you know the whole world’s [00:32:00] going to see, not because you made the post, but because you want people to know how much you appreciate that other person. So gratitude is…

It’s, it’s critical to everything, right? Gratitude makes people feel seen, and people remember that. You know, it’s one of the most underrated connection tools in the business. You know, I’m, I am far from great at it, but still, every few days, usually at least once a week, I’ll go back and look at, you know, all the interactions I had on my calendar or check the emails I sent or whatever, and I’ll look for reasons to, write a handwritten note, pop my business card in there and, and, and, and stay in touch.

But I’m doing it from a place of, of real gratitude. And in the course of a busy day, a week, a month, those, those moments happen, but we are basically unaware of them and they just slip by. So another tip for the day is, find time during the course of the week and think about all the people you’ve encountered the past few days, and look for a [00:33:00] reason to write a heartfelt expression of gratitude in the form of a personal note 

Laci LeBlanc: You know, Dean Jackson, our buddy Dean, talks about, um, the secret psychology of referrals and, you know, it’s not directly related to referrals.

You’re not necessarily writing a thank you note because you wanna get a referral later. But when, when Dean talks about the secret psychology of referrals making people feel seen and appreciated is a lot of what drives a referral. So we talk about how, you know, you don’t need to actually pay anybody anything, you don’t need to send them a gift card as a thank you if they make a referral.

People refer because they want to be the hero. They wanna be seen, they wanna be, you know, they want people to be grateful for what they’ve- Yeah … they’ve offered them. Agreed. Information, a referral, whatever it is. So when you say it’s one of the most underrated connection tools in the business, I think that that’s, that’s an understatement, honestly.

I think that gratitude fuels referrals probably more than any other thing. But with that- I agree … we’ll change direction to the last rule. Um, this one might ruffle some feathers, [00:34:00] but rule number 20 is never pay for a lead. 

Chris McAllister: I hope it does ruffle some fle- feathers, right? Th- this, this whole, this whole episode is about connection, and there are still a lot of agents out there who pay Zillow and realtor.com and, um, a million other places money to buy connections, right?

That’s really what they’re doing. You can say they’re paying for leads, but what they’re really paying for is the chance at a, at a productive r- relationship. And I just have always hated the idea of outsourcing, uh, responsibility for creating opportunity to somebody else. That one has to rest with me.

I’ve tried to pay for leads, you know, a c- two or three different occasions. You know, I saw a shiny object and I gave it a try, and I gave it my best, and I, I wasn’t good at it. I didn’t like it. I didn’t feel like I was in control. So rule number 20, never pay for a lead. [00:35:00] In its own way, it’s really about ownership.

You know, when you pay for leads from any of these generation services, you’re kinda just renting your business from them, right? I, I, I there’s so many agents out there who at the end of the day, Zillow ought to be their broker, right? You know, anyti- anytime you’ve got something where, where if you stop paying for it, it disappears, that, that’s renting.

That’s not ownership. And the top 1% of the people in this build- business, they build their own lead generation machines. They do it in the form of referral networks. They do it in terms of building databases. They do it by earning trust of the communi- community. And they don’t just go out and chase everybody who’s on the internet looking at houses, right?

They stick to the people they know. They do everything they can to build out the number of people they know to have detail on the database, to stay in touch. At the end of the day, they nurture relationships, right? And they [00:36:00] just don’t go out and rent them, and they certainly don’t go out and pay for them.

So that’s my last comment on connection. I don’t want it to sound like that it’s sort of on a negative note, but, you know, connecting is something that you quite frankly don’t have to pay for, and the minute you decide you’re gonna pay for the opportunity to make connection is, is usually when things start to go south.

So it’s my book, I can s- I can make the rules. 

Laci LeBlanc: I think that’s the whole point, actually. But- Um, so that, that does bring us to the end of part two. So if we’re gonna summarize part two, um, and these, these rules that we just talked about, how would you do that? 

Chris McAllister: I think the, the, the main gist of it is it’s all about connecting, but it’s about connecting with intention.

It’s about who you build relationships with. It’s about how you treat people, what you’ll tolerate from people, and what you’re willing to walk away from to build the business that you truly dream of, right? Your goal is to build a business that you’re thrilled to own, right? Your, your goal is to [00:37:00] create your unique life that is incredibly worth living to you, right?

So you’ve got to be intentional about that, and so much of it comes down to the people that we choose to work with or surround ourselves with. So if part one in the last episode about, was about building a business that works for you, this episode, part two, is about building relationships that actually support that business that, that you’ve designed for yourself.

Laci LeBlanc: And for someone listening who wants to go deeper into this part of the conversation, what’s their next step? 

Chris McAllister: Get the book, right? 59 Rules, and open up part two. You know, that’s, that’s what this episode is based on. And I don’t want you to go in there to memorize the rules, but I want you to read through them.

And there’s a lot more information, you know, than we’ve talked through the past few minutes. But as you’re reading through that think about how you can or should be evaluating your, your, your relationships, the quality of your relationships, evaluating the [00:38:00] boundaries you have in place, if you have any at all and your habits, right?

The quality of your connections and the quality of y- of your ability to connect will ultimately determine the quality and the long-term success of your business. And that’s not just Chris talking. That’s not philosophy. That’s just reality, quite frankly. So the second thing is, stay tuned.

Keep an eye out for episode three of the 59 Rules for Becoming a Top 1% Real Estate Professional, when we’re gonna talk about practice and the daily disciplines of a real estate professional. I think that does it, Laci. Anything we missed? 

Laci LeBlanc: I don’t think so. I think that we’ve given everybody lots to think about.

Uh, every time we do this, I, I walk through my own relationships, the people that I’m surrounding myself, and that be clients or, uh, friends. Y- you know, I think that connecting and relationships, and we talk about this a lot, but these are [00:39:00] conversations specific to real estate, but really they’re, they’re life lessons we’re learning here.

So- I’d like to think they’re universal to some degree … um, I think being intentional about it is huge. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think there are a lot of agents out there who have done some of this by accident, little pieces and parts of it. You know, they’ll find the right niche or they’ll determine that they don’t wanna work on Fridays or Saturday afternoons or whatever the case may be.

But I think intentionally putting all these pieces together is the real key to that kind of big success, uh, to becoming one of those real estate celebrities because, not because you’ve, you know, sold more units than anybody else or you’ve made more money than anybody else, but because you’re living a life that attracts people to you.

This, this book and these steps are, the guide to doing just that. 

Chris McAllister: Well, the byproduct of that is you probably will make more money and do more, uh, transactions than anybody else, but it- that’s, but that’s a symptom, that’s an outcome. It’s, it’s, it, it’s just what happens when, when you really try to figure out, you know, how you’re going [00:40:00] to add unique value in the marketplace.

So I love these. You know, I, w- when I was writing this book, I was getting a lot of things off my chest that I just wanted to say, so it feels good to go over them again. Um, so this was fun. I appreciate your help, and everybody listening, we’ll see you next time. 

Laci LeBlanc: See you next time.